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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Emily Rose: A Pregnancy Story, Part 3: Auld Lang Syne

Auld Lang Syne
Dear Emily Rose,
Bringing in the New Year must have been uneventful because I don’t remember much about it. I wasn’t at a hip party or dancing in Times Square. In fact, I didn’t even watch the ball drop on television. I can guarantee I was in bed already. Midnight is past my bedtime and New Year’s Eve is not my favorite holiday.
But with the calendar change came an unavoidable first experience for us both. Our first OB/gyn appointment was upon us. I made sure to follow their instructions about what to do prior to the appointment and left the house with a clear head. The hospital and doctors would be new to me, but I was a seasoned veteran. I saw this appointment as one of those chores that would be over with soon enough and then easily forgotten.              
I walked into the waiting room and my first reaction was one of disappointment. My last doctor’s office was like the Cheesecake Factory of offices–huge, well decorated, and busy but run like a military operation. Comparatively, this new place was a hole in the wall. I’m not the type of girl that needs all the frills, but I felt lost and suddenly had the feeling that something was about to go wrong.    
I waited behind one other person and when it was my turn, I gave the secretary with a bad 1980’s haircut my ID and insurance card. Through her wide-framed glasses, she peered at me with a combination of annoyance and disgust. “Do you have a referral with you?”
I was ready for this question since they told me I would need to take care of this before the appointment. “My insurance company said I didn’t need one.”
“You ALWAYS need one when your primary care physician is in a different state.”
To make a long and rather uninteresting story short, I lived in Vermont at the time but had a Massachusetts primary care doctor, one I had never seen before. After spending a long time trying to get a referral anyway, I was relieved to find out from my insurance company that I was good to go without one.
I went into more detail about my phone conversation with the insurance rep. After my spiel, I waited in uncomfortable silence as she formulated her unfair judgment about my competence. I could see it in her eyes. Soon the bickering resumed and only ended when she decided to “check with her office manager.”
OK...you do that...
I sat down in a corner as far away from humanity as possible. Trying to debate a secretary on a power trip is like trying to discuss evolution with a religious zealot. Both are immune to reason because their “word” is gospel. My argument would have been just as effective if I had broken into a chorus of Auld Lang Syne.
I stewed in silence until my name was called. The worst had to be over, right? Well, I wish that were true. The know-it-all nurse then had to say things like...this should have been taken care of already...you may have to pay out of pocket....blah, blah, blah. She was clearly on team secretary.    
Now imagine this, Emily Rose: you are sitting on an exam table wearing only a disposable gown. You are about to undergo one of the most invasive procedures you will ever have done by a complete stranger. AND THEN, the nurse and your supposed doctor start discussing your insurance predicament (and your blatant ignorance) right outside the exam room door.  
Because the doctor was badmouthing me in the hall, I disliked him before he walked in the room.  And, of course, once he decided to grace me with his presence, he started his speech on the intricacies of the health insurance system.   
“I’m not an idiot,” I said unremorsefully when he was through, and I should have added, “or deaf either.” Then I asked who the expert was on the matter since my insurance company obviously gave me the wrong information. The nurse and the doctor exchanged glances and couldn’t give me a straight answer. It was just as I expected. They didn’t really know any more about my situation than I did.
Their attention then turned to my health and it was about time! I gave the doctor curt answers to his inquiries and endured his poking and prodding. The end was near. It had to be. I had been through enough for one day. When the exam was over, I put my clothes back on and tried to hold it together as I went to check out. 
I attempted to schedule my next appointment with the younger, more pleasant office assistant, but the process was interrupted by bad-haircut, power-trip lady. She had more to say. I had to tune her out. Adrenaline, nausea, low blood sugar, and pregnancy hormones were quickly becoming a toxic combination. My vision started to blur and not just with tears. While I was mentally trying to find an escape route, the infamous “office manager” stepped in. Her “we’re only trying to help you” speech wasn’t at all convincing, but at least someone had information with more substance than hearsay. She had called my insurance company and just as I had said from the beginning, I didn’t need a referral. So I was right all along! In essence, power-trip lady, preachy nurse, and uncompassionate doctor were just practicing their condescension at my expense.    
In the car on my way home, I called your father at work and gave him the tearful rendition of my story. When life seems overly complicated in my head, he has a way of removing the extraneous emotional variables. His conclusion was this: find a different doctor. The thought was empowering, but the second closest hospital was about forty minutes away. I felt stuck. For your sake, Emily Rose, I decided to give them one more chance, a chance they didn’t deserve...
Signing off,

Mom    

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