Minivan Scavenger Hunt

I took advantage of this rare nice February day to clean out my minivan.  As I was cleaning, I thought of the greatest game to play for next time - Minivan Scavenger Hunt!  The person to cross off the most items on their list wins.

• A Straw
• A Sock
• A Goldfish (extra points if it is not a cracker)
• Something with Hello Kitty on It
• A Flip Flop
• An Earring
• A Hair bow
• A Feminine Hygiene Product
• Sun Screen
• A crayon
• A band aid (extra points if it was used)
• Anything Disney
• A Lollipop Stick
• A Receipt
• A Tissue
• A Book
• A Reusable grocery bag
• Something with the McDonald's Golden Arches
• A Video Game Character
• A Shovel
• A Snow Brush
• An Expired Coupon
• Something With a Music Note on it
• A Defunct Glow Stick
• A Paystub
• A Deflated Balloon
• Something Minty
• Something in the Shape of a Letter of the Alphabet
• Chinese Writing
• A Sesame Street Character
• Makeup
• A Cookie
• A French Fry
• Something that can be used to clean the Minivan
• A Napkin
• A Musical Instrument
• A Jack o' Lantern
• Something unopened or still in its packaging
• An Air Freshener
• A Ball
• Something that says you Owe Money
• Sporting Equipment
• A mitten
• A Lego
• An UMVO - Unidentified Minivan Object.  

Poking fun at your Facebook "Friends"

How did we ever function without Facebook? We must have used that thing called the telephone, or God forbid, the U.S. postal service. Even email seems obsolete these days because Facebook has "revolutionized communication," or so they say. We can share media with a tap on a smartphone and we have more “friends” as a captive audience than ever before.

Not all “friends” are created equal, however. Some we keep around for entertainment value. For those of you who have never bothered categorizing the people you know, don’t worry, I’ve done it for you. I’m sure there’s at least one “friend” that fits into every category. You might even be a perfect fit...     

The Lurkers – They seem to know what’s going on in your life if you run into them at little league, work, or the supermarket, but they “like” things so infrequently, you would think it caused them physical pain.

Crazy Cat People – Does this one need an explanation? Seriously, is there an endless supply of weird cat pictures out there? And most of them are just creepy. They’re all teeth and slanty eyes. (Can you tell I’m a dog person?)

The Wannabe Workaholics – They complain about how busy they are and how much they hate their jobs...on Facebook during business hours. Enough said.

The Ranters – These people could rule the world if only their Facebook friends would see things their way. 

The Eyebrow Raisers – Most people are predictable, though not everyone. Remember that girl with the pink hair and the never-ending supply of Nirvana T-shirts? She’s suddenly wearing pearls and touting gun rights. There are shocking “Go-Left” people too. For example, the uber conservative former bible club president is now a hairy-legged tree-hugger on a commune. 

Attention Whores – They want you to know EVERYTHING...the good, the bad, the ugly. They will write/comment incessantly, post hourly pictures, YouTube every event, write freaken songs about their day, etc. Here’s the @$$-hole who cut me off...I can’t believe I got a stain on my new dress...I have the flu, woe is me!!!!...Suzy IS NOT my friend anymore...blah, blah, blah.

The Sports Fanatics – Their posts usually contain phrases like “you rookie,” “you call that a...,” “you throw like your mother,” or “what is he smoking?” And each post is followed by at least three exclamation points.

Workout Enthusiasts – Squat thrusts, and chin-ups, and marathons, oh my!

Do-It-Yourselfers – They're painting, or putting in drywall, or a new floor. Are you as excited about the pictures as I am?

Health Nuts – They will tell you what’s really in your milk. Or what soda does to your insides. Or what is added to your ground beef. Yikes! There is a such thing as too much information.

The Guilt Trippers – These people never cease to remind you that your “friendship” is not a right but a privilege. Usually, however, their threats to “de-friend” you are empty. If they actually de-friended you for ignoring their pleas, who would they trip up with guilt the next time?  

The Future Divorcees – For these relationship mudslingers, Facebook is like the spoiler alert for a match.com membership. It’s like they want all their old boyfriends/girlfriends to know they’ll be on the market again very soon.

The Overachieving Parents – OK, guilty as charged. But here’s a little secret. Our careers are shoddy at best. And we’re just as frustrated with the world as most other people. We just have cuter pictures. 

The Proud Chefs/Restaurant Aficionados – They have more class and better taste than you, and they want you to be aware of this while you’re choking down your chicken nuggets and tater tots.

Bad News Bumpkins – They have nothing good to say and freak you out sometimes. They’re looking for sympathy or commiseration, but what they need is medical intervention.

The Ghosts – You knew the relationship was dead a long time ago and you thought Facebook might resuscitate it. But their Facebook page is as stark as a graveyard. You don’t know why they even bother keeping one.

Well, on that note, I’ll sign off. I apologize if I’ve offended anyone, unless you’re a cat person, in which case, I don’t care. Just kidding. Cats are swell.

So, until next time, I will continue to be the occasionally lurking (I don’t always say much, but I don’t miss much), eyebrow raising (who knew I had it in me to be offensive?), overachieving mommy on Facebook (sorry...babies are cuter than cats any day of the week). I hope you guys don’t mind J

A Smart Woman’s Rebuttal

This morning my husband forwarded me an email called “Man’s Rules.” I laughed, of course, and then I thought it would be funny to set the record straight...

Here’s the original email:

Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.   

These are our rules...
Please note...these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question...

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it... That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Hunting, Fishing.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - 

to give them a bigger laugh.

And here’s my version...much more accurate...naturally ;)

1) OK. So you're not mind readers. We get it. But Jeez! That seems a little convenient, especially since you're the reigning world experts on everything else. You know how to drive better than us, manage money, raise the kids, deal with the parents/in-laws better than us... Yet somehow simple cause and effect psychology eludes you.

2) Your mother doesn't live with you. Be a big boy and clean up after yourself. And yes, that includes the toilet seat you refuse to acknowledge has hinges in either direction.

3) Crying is at times our only recourse to insensitivity. If you don't like the tears, then don't make us cry.

4) We may misplace our cell phone or keys a lot, but when it comes to an injustice, women are like elephants. We NEVER forget. Ever.

5) When we want sympathy, give it to us or make a convincing effort. This will help you when you're upset, sick in bed, etc., BECAUSE...see rule number 4.

6) Time is relative. Man-time is double actual time. Woman-time divides actual time in half (roughly). Keep that in mind before you speak/act/pick an argument, because it takes us four times longer to get over something. Again...see rule number 4.

7) Your moods are not any easier to navigate. You should practice what you preach and say what's wrong. We might let more of your snide comments slide if we knew you had a bad day at work.

8) Sports may be sacred, and that's fine, but don't poke at us for attention when we're quietly engrossed in one of our guilty pleasures.

9) We like the couch too. Or when you are on the couch. You are so loud sometimes that the bed shakes, and you take up more space and blanket yardage than seems mathematically possible.

10) Christopher Columbus was lost by thousands of miles. So if you refuse to ask for directions, don't expect us to name a holiday after you even if we do eventually reach our destination.

11) Hints don't work. Got it. But if we ask for something directly and you ignore us anyway, we get extra pissed. You'd be better off learning to take hints.

12) We all have our vices, so don’t nag us about shoes or clothes when your television, for example, is much larger than necessary.

13) Yes, men nag too. Just in your own heads it’s excused as “common sense.”

14) To many of us, motorcycles are “death machines” or “widow makers.” And no, we don’t think we would look “hot” riding on the back of one.

15) A carefully crafted excuse will never replace the need for an apology.

16) We keep score, and it’s not like playing football with your friends. This is not a game you want to win.

17) We don't care how big your lunch was or at what time you ate it. If we made you dinner, grab a fork and say, "Thanks, hun. It's fantastic!"
 
18) Unless you look like Tom Brady, don't expect us to look like Gisele.

19) A happy wife is a happy life. C’mon guys, you KNOW this. Are we really that hard to keep happy...?

Did I miss anything?

Help me out ladies... Or ballsy men...

But What Do Cigarettes Have to do With Gun Control?

 
      I have recently gone back to graduate school.  As a thirty-something surrounded by mostly twenty-somethings, I am constantly reminded that I am old.  I was recently telling the story of how when I was in high school, our band director used to conduct with his lit cigarette.  My classmates were incredulous.  "But there's no way, you can't smoke in schools!  You can't even smoke on school grounds!" they said.  Ah yes, my children, there was a time not so long ago when you could smoke on airplanes, and in schools, and in restaurants.  You could go to Denny's, order coffee and smoke.  A local coffee house had cigar night.  If you went to a bar, you would leave reeking of cigarette smoke.  You could smoke in the workplace, any workplace, even if that workplace was a school or a hospital.
     So what changed?  People loved their cigarettes, in fact were quite addicted to them. Wouldn't we be liminting their freedom by banning smoking in public places? How do you get people to quit smoking or at least smoke less?
     Slowly they began to increase the tax on ciggarettes.  The price of a pack went from $2.50 to roughly $10.00 in just a matter of years.  They started to ban advertising to kids.  Joe Camel used to be as recognizable as Mickey Mouse.  Then they began to say no more smoking in schools, and then even smoking on school grounds became taboo.  They moved from having a non smoking section in restaurants to not allowing smoking, period.  And yes, this "they" happens to be our government.
     After this past year of shootings, maybe we as a society should begin to say I don't want your second hand gun smoke.  I'm not a 'gun owner/smoker', so why should I be subjected to to you smoke/gun fire.  I don't want you smoke/gun fire in my kids schools.  They, the government can affect change, they have done it before, in very recent memory.  Maybe if we stand up as a society and say this smoke is making us sick, we can make some simple but effective changes. Then hopefully there will be less Auroras and Newtowns and Trevon Martins.

What to tell your kids about school shootings

Friday, December 14th, 2012. Surely it had been “one of those days” for everyone–parents, teachers, students, the employed, the un- or underemployed. It was a busy, stressful day at the height of the holiday season, and when emotions were already high, tragedy struck in a place that could have easily been your town, your neighborhood.

Like you, I wanted answers. But with all my kids at home with me, I couldn’t exactly put on CNN. So I took the social media route. There were bits and pieces of a horrific story and a number of angry people assigning blame, but of course, no answers.

The next day, my husband and I created a bubble of cheer for our kids–games, Christmas movies, etc. I knew life couldn't continue on like that indefinitely, so I began to wonder what to tell my first grader, if anything.

Then I came across an article in the Albany Times Union: “What to tell, not tell, kids about shootings.” I read it because I thought it might help initiate the conversation. The link is at the bottom of the page if you’re interested or curious, though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it.

Since the only advice I found was too vague to be helpful, I was on my own. Although I’ve been criticized for being “too honest” with my kids, I thought I should go with an age-appropriate version of the truth. When my son is about to make up a story, I always stop him and say, "Give it to me straight. I can handle it." And then he does. I should as a parent return the courtesy. He's an intuitive, rational kid. He too can "handle it."

Do I believe guns are partially to blame for this tragedy? Absolutely. Would I tell my kids this? Yes. I don't like guns and wouldn't want them in my house. I would hope, regardless of the law, others who have children or the mentally ill in their care would feel the same way.

I give a lot of credit to those who work with or live with the mentally ill. It's not an easy job (or an easy life). Even in an ideal setting-stable, loving household, good health insurance-some disorders are untreatable. Take away that stability and medical treatment, add a deadly weapon into the mix, and you can potentially get the Columbine, the Virgina Tech, the Aurora, Colorado, or the Newtown, Connecticut.

So back to my son, the first grader. Here's the message I hope to get across to him...

Sometimes people are broken. They need help, but maybe no one listens or maybe the people who love them don't know what to do. Then they might become to broken to fix. And if they want to hurt themselves or other people, they'll find a way...

http://m.timesunion.com/tu/db_109215/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=9OVNZgZ8

Corn, Gay Marriage and the Bible

     I got into it with a Bible thumper online.  I love to mess with them.  They think they are the only people who actually read the Bible and that no one else has any clue what the book actually says.  I'll share the thread. but first let me give a little back ground information. 
     I live in New York, where gay marriage was legalized just over a year ago. Recently, a lesbian couple approached Liberty Ridge farm to plan their wedding.  Liberty Ridge turned them down and was stupid enough to tell them why.  This has blown up on the local news, on Facebook.  This is their peak time of year, as they have a haunted corn maze, and people are talking of boycotting.
     I was following the news story on WNYT's website.  Click here to view the story and the original thread. There was a hateful comment posted so I put in simple reply of "God is love and all who live in love live in God. John 4:16"
     Then another poster commented "God alo condems homosexuality read up before using religion in your defense."
     My response "Leviticus may, but Jesus never does. I've read up quite a bit, thank you very much."
     And he counters "Just fyi king james 1 corinthians 6:8-10 Jesus comments God bless this isnt a fighting a match everybody should be free from forced culture god loves everyone its a personal thought we should only pray for the lost not argue".
     Then I went onto say "1 Corinthians is an Epistle of Paul. Paul never actually met Jesus, so I do not necessarily take that as straight from the horses mouth. It does go to show that many parts of the Bible do conflict. It is not a perfect book. For example in Matthew, Jews repeatedly called are the chosen people, while in the gosep of John, it says Jews are dogs. This one verse in John was used to justify perscution of Jews for years, but that never would have been Jesus' intention, as he was Jewish himself."
     This is the part that I love, when he totally loses it "Answer one question why do people who truly choose to live in sin (homosexuality) always alter the word of god to excuse the guilt of unconfessed sin. I will end it at this if you are a christian who believed jesus died on the cross for our sin then you believe the bile as truth written through the prophets if you dont then you might be of a different faith not a true practicing christian which is fine but dont use god in your defense for protecting homosexuality that would call him a liar and you wouldnt want the consequences for that."
     I love how he makes assumptions about me based on the fact that I don't believe hate belongs in a Biblical discussion.  So I countered "I am Catholic, and have studied history and theology. I am also a woman, happliy married to a man. We have 3 beautiful children together, though some may consider our twins an abomination as they were concieved using fertility treatments. I am not altering the word of God. I just pick and choose just as you and others do. Is it okay for my husband to beat me as long as he uses a stick no thicker than his thumb? Would it have been okay for him to impregnate my handmaiden since I could not get pregnant on my own? Is slavery okay? The Bible is full of things that were allowable that we no longer tolerate in today's society, and other things it deems sins that we no longer seem to care about, like eating pork and shellfish, or getting tatoos. I choose to believe that the over arching message of the Gospels is about Love."
    So there it is, I'm a godless heathen and destined for Hell. 

    It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  There is still some question as to the legality of Liberty Ridge denying them the opportunity to have their wedding there.  The legislation that approved gay marriage did include verbiage to prevent religious instutitions from being forced to hold gay weddings.  It never mentions private businesses however.   Some are saying that it infringes on Liberty Ridge's freedom to force them to host gay and lesbian weddings. Maybe, but would it be okay for them to deny another event that was maybe not so politically charged?  What if a religious group wanted to bring the Sunday school to the corn maze?  Would it be okay for them to deny them?  What about if it were a group of African refugees from EMMAUS?  Would that be okay? How about if they decided to let the Boy Scouts come because their group is anti-gay marriage, but not the Girl Scouts who have a more inclusive view on the subject?  I'd love to hear some (rational) thoughts. 

A Great Time Saver . . .

     I recently tried Shop Rite's personal shopping service.  It was convenient, no doubt.  Since I broke my foot, it has been a God send.  I highly recommend it for anyone who has too much to do and not enough time.  The best part is that it is a free service!
     The way it works, is you go online and pick out your groceries.  This can be done late at night in your jammies, while breast feeding a newborn.  You can shop right from the sale flyer which is handy.  It also lets you know which items are on sale as you go through the categories, for instance, if you type just pasta, you'll find that Barilla varieties were on sale this week.  If you click on produce, it will show you what is features this week, giving you the heads up for what is ripe and in season.
    Once you have shopped a few times, it saves your previous purchases, making it that much easier to go in and re-click what you've previously bought.  I usually start here, because lets face it, I buy the same milk, bread, cereal etc. every week.  They also have a neat feature, where it gives you recipe ideas, and at the bottom, it gives you the option to click on any ingredients you would need.
    One suggestion I would make it to give them some liberty when it comes to substitutions.  I had ordered juice boxes that were on sale, and because they were out of the flavor I had requested, I got zero juice boxes.  The next week I made a note to say, if one flavor of juice boxes or yogurts was out, to substitute another flavor.  Same went for the meat, if they didn't have the exact cut of steak I had requested I was more than okay with an alternate being substituted.
   You do usually need to give them a day's notice.  I usually do it the night before, and have been able to pick up first thing in the morning.  You get to pull up to the side entrance, which is covered, great on even a rainy day.  You run in, and your groceries are already all set to go, bagged and all.  There has never ever been a line.  Just that alone is such a time saver.  Then you hand them your preferred form of payment and you can be on your way.  They will even help you out to your car if you ask.
     Just as a foot note, no, I'm not an employee, nor have I been paid or give any swag.  I just found this such a wonderful time saver.  It is also a money saver, since they stick to my list and only my list (my husband loves this part).  There are also no little helpers throwing extra cookies in your basket.  I just wish they had this when I was pregnant with the twins!